Tributes from Devotee Friends
Last updated 26th July 2002

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A
Amber (Sikhandi and Bhagavati's daughter)
Ananda Bhakti dd
Atmananda d

Love and Kisses
From Amba

Seriously Vrndy, you know Laksmi, the girls, Kala, Sikhandi, Bhagavati, Naro, Amba and both our parents…. Raghu will be fine.
Also, your family, are so fortunate you have you “Their Guardian Angel”. Strangely, you felt as though you never had many friends and no one really understood you, yet the outpourings of love and affection from so many has completely astounded me, as well as the depth of spiritual realizations your life has created. Once again, legendary. A true Vaisnavi Saint.
Kalas and I are creating a garden on your behalf, as we know it would please you. And as you have taken the fun out of Sikhandi’s and my birthday, on that week we will hold a feast honouring you.
Well Vrns this is the wrap. You have led the way, through your conviction in the potency of the holy name, service attitude and loyalty you have triumphed over the difficulties of life and reached perfection.
I know I am meant to be all spiritual; but I will miss you dearly!
It is so reassuring knowing you are with your Guru & Gauranga & that you will help Raghu & I on the path.
You are a shining example of how we should lead our lives, care for each other and have compassion, coupled with a strong, single pointed desire to attain the lotus feet of the Lord.
Please bless me with an ounce of your devotion.
Vrndy, save me a plate as you always have, because when finished here, I sure want to be serving with you once again.
Love Bal.

Lots of love and hugs,
Bhagavati

Dearest Vrndaban,
That your hearts desire to serve the great devotees and Lord Krishna intimately has been achieved, fills me with such joy on your behalf I also feel great sadness because those of us who loved you are now bereft of your association.
It is not a surprise to me that you have achieved the ultimate goal of a devotees life. In all aspects of your spiritual life you endeavored with such great determination, sincerity and devotion. Your heart overflowed with it, and encompassed all of us.
You showed kindness and compassion to all that you met and always provided them with an opportunity to engage in Lord Krishna’s service. You seized every moment to serve. Service was your life.
My deepest regret is that I never told you in words how special you were to me. Vrndaban I love you and admire you. You inspire me and I deeply appreciate your continued friendship. You have been there beside me since the beginning of our Krsna conscious journey. A true friend – always there in good times and hard. You have friendship your journey now – with such a wonderful ending.

You will dwell in my heart for the rest of my life.
Farewell my dear friend – until we meet again.

Your friend and servant in separation
Citralekha dasi
 

        I first met Vrndavana in 1984. She had joined the temple shortly before I did, and the system then was for new devotees to spend their first few months doing service in Gopals restaurant. She was completing her stint there when I came along, so I took over from her. Being Vrndavana, she had increased the product range somewhat dramatically in the restaurant and I had a hard time keeping up her high standard (especially since I had only one day to learn from her, before she gave me a cheery wave and left me to it)!
        Although Vrndavana was married then, she used to spend a lot of time with us single girls. I think it had something to do with a suggestion that she could somehow benefit from being around us, or more particularly our strict training. Of course it was usually the other way around. She never cared much for strict rules and regulations! She had a more important agenda. In this regard, one particular incident comes to mind. She was left-handed, like me, and found it really difficult to serve prasadam with her right hand, as is the proper etiquette. When someone asked her why she was using her left hand she replied, "Because it ends up on the plate this way". She was very practical.
        In 1986 I went to India with a group of devotees, including Vrndavana. Since she had been before, she took it upon herself to guide me through the complexities of existence in India. She was convinced she knew the secret to avoid getting sick and advised us accordingly. Unfortunately, when we reached Vrndavana, she took to her bed for several days, becoming quite ill. On this trip her flamboyant nature become evident when she took a liking to a particular style of brightly coloured and heavily patterned sari made in Orissa. One I remember which was a favourite of hers had such a bright orange background that we called it her "fire engine" sari. Returning to our hotel one evening during one of the all too frequent power cuts, I was glad she was wearing it, as I didn't become separated from her while we grappled our way through the crowded lobby and on to our room by following its almost luminous glow.
        One other trip I took with her was to Wellington when a group of us were spending a month away from the temple selling various items of paraphernalia. We finished our work on Christmas Eve and were due to drive home the next day. Vrndavana knew we were feeling a little wistful at being away from home on Christmas and upon waking on Christmas morning, we found she had decorated the motel room with a small pine tree she had uprooted from the side of the motorway the night before and hung with presents for us all.
        Of her many talents, she will probably be best remembered (by those of us fortunate enough to have been on the receiving end) for her cooking. On most feast days, if she was in town, (and any other time she could think up a good enough excuse to do so), she would spend hours in the kitchen turning out her famous pastries and cakes by the tray-full. I once attended one of her pastry making classes in the hope of gleaning her secrets to the perfect custard square. I was surprised at her unorthodox but incredibly effective methods. My personal recipe book (like I'm sure everyone else's who knew her and cooked) is peppered with her originals like "Vrndavana's Basic Sponge", as if the honour of having her name heading the page should somehow empower the ingredients to perform her culinary magic, even when placed in the hands of another. It was never so of course, her cooking was always special - always different by dint of the addition of that one secret ingredient - her love for being able to serve others through her art. For that is what she made it, an art form.
 Like all of us, she had her different roles to play in this world. She was a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a godsister to many and a dear friend to many more. But first and foremost, she was simply Krsna's servant and she fulfilled this role in the way most pleasing to the Lord, by serving His devotees. I think she will best be remembered for her selfless desire to serve and please others.
        Vrndavana had a big heart - which was mostly filled with Krsna but had plenty of room left for the rest of us too. One of the things I will always be grateful to her for was her deliveries of the most wonderful prasadam to us at home during the days following the births of each of our two children.
        Vrndavana had a huge amount of energy and passion. She did everything with such intensity - the way she conducted her spiritual life was probably the best example of this. This was particularly true in recent years. She was very courageous and had a strength of spirit that carried her through the hardship and heartache in her life. In fact, any difficulty she encountered she would simply use as an impetus to increase her devotion. Above all, she was very determined. She worked hard for what she believed in and wanted to achieve and what she wanted more than anything, was Krsna. As many of us know, with Vrndavana, what she wanted, she usually got in the end, even though at times it may not have suited us all that well.
        This is one of those times.

        In loving memory,

        Harananda.

To all the devotees of New Varsana, and  the disciples of His Holiness Tamal Krishna Goswami as well as the friends and family of her grace Vrindavana Iswari, I offer my most humble obeisances, All glories to Srila Prabhupada. Here in Mayapur dham, devotees have just finished walking around the holy places of Navadwip, on parilkrama. So many Vaishnavas from all around the world are here taking part in this ,the largest gathering, the 30th Mayapur festival. And it is wonderful to be here taking the association of so many senior Vaishnavas. The preparations are on a very big scale , and the air is surcharged with an transcendentally .exciting atmosphere ..This is the mercy of the dham, and this Gaura Purnima, for the all the devotees, is mixed with sadness, as it is for everyone who knew Her Grace Vrindavana Iswari.  This year has been a very special Gaura Purnima festival. The departures of Vrindavana Iswari, and her siska guru His Holiness Tamal krishna Goswami have served to underline, the most amazing message we hear every day  ,and do not quite believe........that we do not know when we have to leave our bodies.......and we can always find a reason not to take spiritual life seriously.. All of us who knew Vrindavana, know that her mood was intense. Spiritually intense and serious. . Although at my own level I wasn't always able to understand what she was trying to teach me , still she had time for me and had the ability to make me feel special , that I had some value, . Most of all she made me feel as though she cared. She believed that among devotees that this aspect of our relationships was very important, and sadly that it was often lacking. For the few years that I knew her, Vrindavana and I built a friendship together. I was surprised that she even took an interest in me, yet as I gradually came to know what a spiritual friendship is, I understood that it was important for her also. She would  visit me, when I was sick or  a bit low,, she would engage me in these far out spiritual discussions, so enlivening, and uplifting .She would be encouraging me to get to a higher level as well ... to become serious about chanting. She once gave me a beautiful pendant, with a picture of Radha and Krishna, ; another time a lovely gold framed picture o f Vrinda devi. She was not so attached materially. Her generosity is in fact legendary. But Vrindavana was a very genuine person and  Very genuine in her desire to become Krishna Conscious. She wanted the very best, and possessed such determination, that there is no doubt in my mind whatsoever that she achieved that most desirable of destinations.. Krishna's Lotus feet.    so many  indications are there . Her Guru most certainly knew of her strong desire to quit the material world. Just before they began their last journey together, after paying their obeisances to Garuda, in the courtyard of the Radha- Madhava Temple, His Holiness was heard to say to Vrindavana,  "Garuda will take us back to Godhead".   How many of us can hope to leave our bodies in the holy dham and the remains burnt on the banks of the Ganga before sundown. It is  most exciting to personally have known someone who Krishna has decided to take back home. Her Grace Vrindavana Iswari will always be a guiding influence and inspiration in my own spiritual journey, and will be greatly missed by us all. Her friend and servant,

Haripriya dasi, Mayapur

> > Thank you for your kind words. We have the homily ceremony for
> > Vrindavanesvari tomorrow (26th March) so all the devotees are coming from
> > all over NZ as well as her parents, family etc. so no doubt that will be
> > an emotional affair. You were one of the devotees I was thinking about
> > especially in relation to Tamal Krishna Maharaja and also our own long
> > relationship. I was thinking of ringing you anyhow so can you please send
> > me your ph. no and within a few days I will give you a call.

 Dear Kalasamvara prabhu,

 Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada!

Many thanks for your quick reply. I take it that you are now back in Auckland. I am sure you have many things that now need to be adjusted and I hope everything goes well for you.

 You will be having the homily for Vrindavanesvari now as I write so I guess this will arrive too late for inclusion but I do want to express my heartfelt sympathy to you and your stepson (I am sorry I don't know his name). I didn't know Vrindavanesvari so I can't say much in her glorification but the circumstances of her departure are very auspicious and that indicates that she was a great soul and very dear to Lord Caitanya. I am quite sure that if there were any material desires lingering in her heart, they were all vanquished in those last few moments in the holy dhama and that she has successfully completed her sojourn in this world and gone back home back to Godhead. She had good company in her final transition -- the very best, so the loss is all ours.

 I think she is yet another example of a so-called 'ordinary' devotee who got the full benefits and potency of the holy name from our beloved Srila Prabhupada and his representatives and whose life and death prove that the simple practices and practical engagement of devotional service as given to us by His Divine Grace are fully sufficient to make our lives completely successful.

 May we all be as fortunate.

         Your humble servant,
        Hari-sauri dasa

Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada. All glories to  Her Grace Vrndavanisvari devi dasi.

I have fond memories of you in the early 80’s at Sweetwaters,Balabhada, You Sikhandi, Bhagavati Citralekha and myself all new to Krsna Consciousness, the sweetness of your association and friendship. Sharing that time with you giving Krsna prashadam to thousands of people a day, the Hare Krsna band playing there unique beautiful transcendental Krsna songs to hugh crowds. You and Bala with your hippie stall wearing rainbow colours and flowers in your hair.Srila Jaya Sila lovingly chastising us on the finer points of Krsna Consciousness as we painted rebel flags and other crazy designs on faces instead of the more approved Gopi dots. I felt honoured and fortunate to be there in your pastimes as a new devotee and when the darkness of material life cover me remember your smile and unlimited enthusiasm and it brings the light back into my life.I thank you for those dear memories of the early days of my devotional life and for your help in bringing me closer to Krsna. I also feel saddened for the loss the world now feels for loosing you, but am gladdened to knowing you are now with Krsna and am now more inspired to rekindle that friendship in the future.reading about u as also brought home to me the importance of chanting the Maha Mantra and i will take this as a gift from u to chant more seriously, and to take up lost friendships from the past.

Thank You Hare Krsna.Love from Hayagriva Dasa
 

 Please accept my blessings.  All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

 I am feeling so much  separation from you - especially as you departed so suddenly.  Remembering my recent visit to New Zealand and how you rendered such nice service to me,   increases my lamentation that in this lifetime I will not see you again.  But I am confident that you are nicely situated in devotional service.   Your eagerness to serve the devotees,  your enthusiasm to chant the holy names and your record of intense devotional service over many years surely endeared you to the Lord,  who has taken you to serve Him elsewhere.

 Could it be that He allowed you to accompany your dear siksa-guru,  Tamal Krsna Goswami,  to his next destination and continue to assist the samkirtan movement of Lord Caitanya Mahaprabhu?  Or has the Lord,  appreciating your strong desire to love Him ( expressed through your constant loving appeals in chanting the holy names ) given you His causeless mercy and taken you to His very own abode?  Either way,   you are blessed and I am happy for you.

 But we will all miss you dearly;  your cooking,  your eagerness for serving the Vaisnavas,  your expertise in raising funds for numerous preaching projects ... and myself,  for your continuous inquiries how to advance in loving Krsna,  the Supreme Personality of Godhead.

 Thank you very much for all the wonderful service you rendered the devotees,  the movement,  your family and me - your spiritual master.   I look forward to seeing you again in the transcendental abode.

 I remain forever,

 Your ever well wisher,
 Indradyumna Swami
 

Dear devotees assembled at New Varshan, especially the disciples of His Divine Grace Srila Tamala Krishna Goswami, Gurudeva and the many friends of the great Vaisnavi Vrndavaneswari Devi Dasi.
Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

At this trying and testing time, I wish I could be there with you. Fate has it otherwise. On this occasion of the loss of two of the greatest souls on the planet, at least from our presence, our first and natural reaction is to shed tears. In the 4th Canto of Srimad Bhagavatam,  in relationship to Queen Vidarbhi's crying at the death of her husband King Malayadhvaja, Srila Prabhupada writes, "Figuratively the queen is supposed to be the disciple of the King; thus when the mortal body of the spiritual master expires, his disciples should cry exactly as the Queen cries when the King dies."
Our next immediate reaction is to perhaps remember their tremendous contribution to the world, which will last forever, and their glorious qualities. Yes, (if we are any sort of vaisnava), we will now see only the good in them. Unfortunately it sometimes happens that during the physical presence we find a lot of faults. On this occasion however the two departed souls were very much beloved by all there. The qualities and achievements of His Holiness Tamala Krishna Goswami are known universally, books declare them. Srimati Vrindavaneswari's greatness may not be known to so many, but for those who knew her they will never forget her association. H.H. Tamala Krishna Goswami was a tremendous light. Others may seem lesser.
Krishna is not so much interested in the size of the light but whether we are shining for Him - that is perfection. Quality! And that we can see in both these devotees.
When I look at the qualities of Vrndavana (as she is affectionately known), I find a deep mine of jewels. Amongst Vaisnavis, she was a living example of one who does not find faults in others, of enthusiasm to help and serve other Vaishnavas, of tolerance, dedication, steadiness, humility (she never expected respect, but was naturally inclined to give respect to others), mercy, mildness, cleanliness, magnanimity, compassion, fixed devotional service, friendliness, silence. Above all, she was a living example of dedication to the service of her Guru and ISKCON, her husband and her son. Few devotees manifest these qualities as much as Vrndavana.
Our next reaction is how we can continue to serve them (or begin to). Srila Prabhupada continues in the purport regarding Queen Vidarbhi, "However, the disciple and spiritual master are never separated because the spiritual master always keeps company with the disciple as long as the disciple follows strictly the instructions of the spiritual master. This is called vani.... When the spiritual master is no longer physically existing, the disciple should serve the instructions of the spiritual master".
We can also meditate on their wonderful qualities and try to develop them ourselves. If we want our devotion to flourish and ISKCON to grow unimpeded, then before other great devotees leave, and it will be a regular event now, let us recognize their good qualities. After all the presence of a Vaisnava is practically the rarest thing in this world. Let us be grateful for their association, understand that service to vaisnavas is the essence of our lives (our very foodstuff), help others whenever we can, not shun service, work on our own faults rather than others and try to always remember and glorify the holy name.
The fact that they departed on a most auspicious day, near the most auspicious place of Srila Haridas Thakura's bhajan, and on their way to Vrndavana,  speaks for itself.
Let us think now, if we really love them, what would they want us to do? The very thing they have left the world for. Chant the Holy names and surrender ourselves at the lotus feet of Guru and Gauranga.

All glories to His Divine Grace Srila Tamala Krishna Maharaj.
All glories to the great Vaisnavi Vrndavaneswari devi dasi.

Your lowly and insincere servant,
Janananda Dasa.

Vancha kalpa tarubhyas cha kripa sindhubhyeva cha
Patitanam pavenebhyo vaishnavebhyo namo namah

So you passed the biggest challenge yet. You always took a challenge to heart, and this one you also embraced with your all. Your success was guaranteed.

 It’s taken me two weeks to write anything personally to you; so much has had to to been done to get this far. As your family priest you used to come to me and grill me for every fine detail of any event or function we were to observe. Two that come immediately to mind are the wedding for yourself and Kalas’ and the Admestikam (foundation laying) for your house. You rang me several times each time to make sure I was onto it, and so that you knew exactly what was going on. Over the years in this way you’ve really helped me in my service, to provide yajnas, pujas, samskaras, wedding etc with running commentaries so that everyone knows what’s going on.

I’ve been to quite a number of functions where persons have passed on, and presenting the philosophy of Bhagavad Gita has always given solace to survivors. This time I had some intense realizations why health professionals and priests etc don'’ serve loved ones at such times of crisis, we become compromised be emotion too. Somehow you stepped into a higher category of appreciation in my book, to date the only one or two who got such an emotional response since when Srila Prabhupad passed away, someone I owe my life to. When Jayatirtha prabhu was murdered that was a shock, and being his second disciple and receiving some training on puja from him that my pujas reflect today, helping me so much I remain immensely grateful, and now you.

Funny thing is in my daily dealings with you it would never reflect how I actually feel. As we heard from a number of devotees because of your intense nature and desire for doing things nicely you often trod on our toes, not in a bad way just your zealousness to please Guru, to the point that you would smother me sometimes. For the last ceremony we did for you in Feb’ 2002 you offered in your usual friendly way, “you can stay at our place, I can cook for you, we’ll look after you…..” and so on, I had to back off. You were amazing in your selflessness to please others by rendering service to them/us, your tireless energy to please the devotees, no matter who. When we moved down to the Bay of Plenty together and started rotating programs in your place, our place and Atmananda and Bhaktimarg’s it was amazing. There were just a small group of us then, but after the devotees around the country began hearing of our incredible festivals, wonderful prasadam, and ecstatic kirtans, we began attracting more and more mostly from the temples where you’d been service previously, Christchurch and Wellington.
 So much we owe you, yet I for one took you for granted, even tried to avoid you sometimes, Sorry I had no idea.
 Over the last couple of weeks you’ve really brought the devotees together, each of us sharing wonderful remembrances, and losses with each other. We are seeing, those who truly loved and appreciated you are really changing for the positive, as you were always so intensely positive.

Last night I was talking for a long while with your brother Ken, such an amazing devotee, and meeting your family – WOW – the way you transformed their lives from an average Kiwi family to an introspective  family of dedicated followers of Di’ (Diane - Vrindavanesvari).
 Hearing the most intimate family stories, and sharing their love for you, totally blew me away. Ken shared with me how when the family saw your cremation ceremony on the Internet how they saw the love your friends in Mayapur and husband Kalas’ have for you.

Kalas’ has been so brave, he’s been pretty amazing, he’s done you proud. What he’s gone through, he shared with me too, ….and how devotees said to him “You’re so fortunate to be alive” his reply was simply; how is that…why did they leave me behind…….such is his loss, double loss.

These interactions are not in anyway mundane, material separation, these feelings of separation are filled with spiritual emotion. Talking of emotion, I have to apologize Vrindavan’ that I failed you in my presentation last night at your homily in Auckland. Devotees were relying on me as the priest, the pandit, the philosopher to present the scenario, the understanding of the transitional phases we were and are still going through. In your memory and by your grace the one down here in Katikati for you went really well, and everyone said it helped them so much to begin the healing process. So I wrote down the essence of what I’d said to try and present it to the devotees and family at the remembrance function (homily) last night. But when I saw the faces of Ken and your sister Sharon (Shazzy) I lost it.

More realizations flooded in why I shouldn’t have tried to make such a presentation came to me. Anyway here’s what I wrote for you, your family and friends. HERE

Hearing from the devotees (I’m including your family members in this as your father put it to Prana prabhu, if devotee means devoted, you are tops).

Mother Jagatarini was a pillar of strength that despite quivering with spiritual emotions presented to us all very deep and meaningful philosophy we all needed, proving the reason she was so close to you.

The night before the accident as I packed my stuff to prepare to travel to Auckland for a yajna I kept seeing in my mind’s eye a car crash. It affected me so much that I wrote out my Last Will and Testament before I took rest, stating what should happen to my Shalagrams, the kids, etc. In the morning when the kids went to school and the wife and I hit the road I said good-bye to them instead of see you tonight like I’d normally do. So convinced it was us who were going …….but when we got back from the yajna, after seeing Raghu’ (my wife asked him “have you heard from your mata yet?) and inquiring about your house, and hearing the hammering of the builders work going on, we arrived back to the bitter sweet news of your departure.
 It’s been a life altering experience for us. I usually like to be a little detached, and have my space, but the last couple of weeks we’ve spent constantly with your friends, either personally, on the phone or interacting through e-mails.
 We’re dedicating this page to you, a humble offering of gratitude for your on going glorification, as you’ve inspired so many of us to do so many things. We love and miss you, but you live on in our hearts.

Thank you for everything, your lowly friend and well-wisher,

JTCd

Dear prabhujee

Please accept my humble obeisancees.  All glories to Srila Prabhupada the guiding light and his dedicated teachers Srila Indradyumna Maharaja and the late Tamal
Krishna Gosvami Maharaja.

It's been a couple of months since you passed on and we all keenly feel your absence here on New Varshan.  In particular your strong presence during early morning japa hours;  your enthusiastic dancing and singing during gurupuja and kirtana and needless to say your weekly breakfast maha of lentil shepards pie and muffins.  We miss your practical advice during the womens' get-togethers and your keen appreciation for bhajan nights;  your committment in establishing this project's vision and your dedication in establishing it;  your excitement for preaching endeavours and your sincerity in pleasing the spiritual master;  your love for Srila Prabhupada and the cherised place his books held;  your strength in overcoming hugely challenging odds and your permeating Krishna conscious attitude in every situation;  your support, kindness and generosity that touched many devotees lives and your sweet caring exchanges with all, especially myself.

Mother Vimala had a dream about you the other night where you re-appeared bright and shining after your cremation and sat down next to her near the bank of
the Ganges.  You were speaking to her whilst you held a book in your hand.  She didn't hear what you were saying but felt that you wanted to give her the
book.  She awoke the next morning feeling quite elated having dreamt about you at such close proximity, but then kept wondering what the title of the book was.
Kalas heard about the incident a few days later and approached her with a book in his hand, commenting that perhaps this was the book you wanted her to
have.  It is a big thick book containg many beautiful and esoteric bhajans by the previous acaryas which you bought especially for bhajan nights.
To this day we delight in its content and enjoy pouring through and tasting this nectar laden treasure.

We had heard how you had been thoroughly relishing the evening bhajans in Mayapura prior and we all hope that you're serving that transcendental mood
and mystifying abode in a very tangible way.

Thank u Vrndavan' for your saintly association.

Missing you - -

your sad chum
Krishna premavati dd

Love from Krsna Presthaya

Dear Vrndavanesvari prabhu,  I was always a little bit in awe of you.  From the beginning you were one of the senior devotees who knew everything, knew how to behave, when I was bumbling around.  And, to be honest, I was never very close to you until recent years.  I admired you from a great distance. But I was always so impressed by your steady service.  Month after month, year after year, you were out in markets and streets - serving ISKCON by bringing in more laxmi than anyone else dreamed of.  Your contribution to our wonderful new temple is inestimable.  I'm sure wherever you are you will watch over it still, and join with us in celebration when the project is complete.
        And it wasn't as if you wanted so much to go out away from the temple so often - that was just your service.  You used to dream of staying at New Varshan, able to attend the morning programme regularly.  So in these last years at last your wishes came true.  And you relished those mornings - chanting all your rounds with the other devotees, hearing Srimad Bhagavatam, worshipping Srila Prabhupada.  You came closer to all the devotees and to Sri Sri Radha Giridhari.
       You always gave good counsel, you were full of compassion when there was any upset, - you were and still are an amazing source of inspiration. We must aspire to be a little like you, sincere and strong in Krishna consciousness.  We will remember you.  Your servant,  Madri devi dasi

Love from Priya Sakhi
 

Missing you everyday
Raghu

  Your friend, Shyama rasa
 

When Kalasamvara returns to NZ' please pass on best wishes from myself and my husband Nrsimhadeva. Our hearts go out to him and can only imagine his suffering at present.

Thank you for your kindness and support also in our time of grief. If possible can you pass on any info you may get, including memories and appreciations of our godbrothers and sisters in NZ. At present I feel my lifeline is them, and by taking shelter of each other we can overcome this sadness.

Your servant Shyama rasa devi dasi

Sitting on the couch and the phone rings. It’s Bala. What are you doing? Sitting on the couch having my feet massaged by Amba after the end of a hard week. What’s happening? I need a big favour. No problem. What? Go and pick Raghu up now and get him to pack for a few days. I will be up to get him in 3 or 4 hours. What’s happening? Just please do that and ring me when you are miles away from your house. Okay. Okay. Bhagavati – What’s up? I have no idea. Ring Bala up in 10 minutes later on the cellphone. What the hell is going on? Where are you? I’m going past the 4 square in Riverhead. Pull over and stop. What’s up? There’s been an accident and TKG has been killed and so has Vrns. What? Vrns has been killed. Yes. Silence. What do you want me to do? Go and get Raghu off the farm and take him home. Don’t say anything to him. Okay? Okay.
So I went to the farm and Raghu was at Pranas home. Hi Rugs, big hugs. Lets pack a bag and Dad is coming up for weekend to be with you and have some fun. Okay. So up at Vrns house trying to keep it together. Got the bag and went into the kitchen and looked at the oven for some reason I touched the oven and just looked around in disbelief. Have to wake up, I told myself and in walked Raghu. Lets go.
Hand in hand we walked to the car. Rung Bal up – I did it, see you tonight. Get home, kids start to play and its time to tell my dear wife about Vrndi. Bhagavati just collapses in my arms. 15 minutes later I said to Muzzie we have to get this together for the kids. Okay. Walking home we were in a dream, got kids and went to the beach for a picnic. Back home by 7:30. Bala and Laksmi arrived at 10:20pm. Nightmare. Is getting weird. Naru had fallen asleep by now, thank God. Raghu and Amba have to be told. 10 minutes later total devastation. So that is the way more or less it all unfolded on Friday 15th of March – Vrndi’s birthday. I have a lifetime of memories and things to say about Vrndavanesvari but a thought for me is you may only be one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
Thank you. Hare Krsna.
Sikhandi das

Dear devotees of the New Zealand Yatra, please accept my most humble obeisances.All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

We have been thinking of you all especially disciples of His Holiness Tamal Krsna Goswami and close associates of Her Grace Vrndavanishvari-which is all of us in New Zealand.

I have heard there is a special rememberance day for Vrndavanishvari tomorrow so I have inspiration to write something.

There is a special C.D. being produced for the rememberances and offerings of for His Holiness Tamal Krsna Goswami.I would like to bring some back to give more oppurtunities for devotees to hear the devotees of Sri Mayapur Dhama  speak.There were so many senior Vaisnavas and very close disciples and godbrothers of His Holiness Tamal Krsna Goswami. By hearing the devotees speaking from their hearts gaveme a deeper meaning towards Vaisnava separation. There is also a collection of speeches for Vrndavanishvari included on this C.D.
For the two weeks that Vrndavanishvari was in Mayapur she was very peaceful and inspired spiritually to hear chant and serve the devotees. Her last words to me was her desire to have evening programmes with the devotees to build genuine relationships with the devotees. She left me excited about this idea.I know she spent every oppurtunity to hear the different seminars going on here and was especially receiving blessings from His Holiness Tamal Krsna Goswami who she was hearing morning classes and evening bhajans every day.I am personally very grateful to His Holiness Tamal Krsna Goswami because he has guided her to leave with all auspicious arrangements. Jananivas Prabhu of Mayapur Dhama said that he had no doubt at all that she went back to Godhead. She left with a Vaisnava saint in the holy Dhama. The place was where Srila Haridas Thakur chanted many lakhs of rounds. She had just been here in Sri Mayapur Dhama fully engaged and absorbed and was meditating on entering Sri Vrndavana Dhama.
A small group of us had kirtan as she was being taken to the Ganga. Simultaneously all the devotees were offering respects to  His Holiness Tamal Krsna Goswami.
Then many sannyasis and devotees came to offer their blessing to Vrndavanishvari also. As the day passed by I realised more and more how auspicious her departure is. Slowly I forgot my own sorrow of losing her visible association and became thankful that she had such a glorious departure-something we all desire.

Vrndavanishvari always wanted to help devotees and serve them. Her sincerity to chant the holy names attentively will always remain an inspiration. Her talents dovetailed in Krsna's service are a great loss for us. She has increased my faith that Krsna makes special arrangements for His Sincere devotees.
May we always remember her many special qualities. Vaisnavas are so rare. I am honored to have known her and have precious memories of serving my own spiritual master by assisting her. May her blessings remain trough the hearts of the devotees remembering her and endeavering to follow her sincere example.

Your servant and friend Sri Kari dasi.

Subject: Vrndavanesvari prahhu
Lines: 86
X-Mailer: COM 3.79.2
X-Com-Textno: PAMHO5360895

Please ask someone to read or pass this round at your day tomorrow ALthough I met Vrndavan in 1994 I have not ever spent nmuch time with her until I was here recently - I was most blessed by being able to spend time with her these last six months living in New Varshan.

She and I talked for hours on many occasions about the holy name and the joys of chanting. These were ecstatic sessions and ones I will never forget. She had become grateful for the personal traumas in her life as through them she had taken complete shelter of the holy name and this was a fixed and constant source of strength to her. The opulence of Queen Kunti, gratitude for Krisna's presence in her life, was certainly hers. From this her love for anyone she came into contact with shone through, and her caring was always so practical, detailed and appropriate - genuine and personal.

She took me to the airport as I came to the UK just before she left for India - we left early - on the way the car broke down and I remember looking at her and our other dear friend who was with us - Krishan PREma Vati - and saying - we have this time for a reason - we may never see each other again.

 Vrndavana said - I really hope we do but you never know - especially in India.  I said we have to use this time well - so we talked at great length about some particular issues on the farm we were all concerned with. I wish I had been more confident and focussed as I was really feeling it was a time to just appreciate each other - time was alway precious to us and we are always chasing such times - how we had it. I remember hugging her to me as she left me at the airport to take KPV to her parents house for some healing. She was always concerned to genuniely do whatever she could to benefit others  She was excited about coming back from India and organising a Festival next January in New Zealand with Indradyumna Maharaja her spiritual master, and some preaching - we were planning things

On many occasions we talked  about relationships and how to encourage and help devotees in difficulty -the focus was always on the spiritual aspects - again and again we would be talking of the holy name and the power of japa and kirtan to practically change our lives, our consciousness and our world. She inspired me deeply due to her real happiness in talking about Krishna and her genuine love of chanting japa - it was real and as natural as talking about the next feast. In fact all these words were a feast for her!

I did one thing I am so glad of. At RAdhastami last year, Vrndavan' gave class. She never gives class - but I insisted she do it, and encouraged her through those days before with rehearsals, and again these are memories to treasure - how she spoke of SRimati RAdharani to me, like a special class on my own in her house - and she of course gave a beautiful class which I am sorrythat we didnt record. Anway. She was very happy to have done it.

I will also remember her running from the alter to PRabhupada at the other end of the temple room and back, smiling and singing, in the New Varshan temple in the presence of Sri Sri Radha Giridhari, lovingly putting her arms around HAri Priya and dancing with her, and others - she alwasy found someone to link with, hold the arm of and bring into the midst of the kirtan.

I will remember the times in the kitchen with her up to her arms in cream, organisisng us all to create one of her delicious feasts, her smile,a nd her tangible love - that glow. I do regret not spending more time learning and enjoying that mood

I will always remember her sitting chanting her japa with deep deep songful attention next to Tulasi. I willnow  never doubt that Krishna is in control and reciprocates with us according to our mood, our taste, our love for Him. She left her body with her dearmost siksha guru and friend, Tamal Krishna GOswami, near to where Haridas thakur chanted 300.000 names of the Lord each day. I used to call her - jokingly but with very serious intent - our acarya of the Holy name - it was her birthday gift to follow him wherever he went that day and for that she is certaingly now serving him and the LOrd without limit. I pray to travel with conviction back to GOdhead and disregard the difficutlies of the journey - to embrace the setbacks and collisions, and to know that Krishna is always with me and He was with her - Her hand set in japa mudra as He danced on her tongue as she left us all.

 It's a very special community, with a wonderful gurukule, and a new temple nearing completion. I am very grateful to have the association of such devotees. The womens group is a source of strength and devotion, and I pray it will continue in the physical absence of Vrndavan', and my being here in UK I am sure she would want this.

Vrndavenesvari - bless me - andeveryone who loves you - I am the most unqualified to speak but wanted to somehow be with you all today

Vrnavanesvari prabhu ki jai!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here's another version from Sri Sudevi dasi

Sri Sudevi d.d.
        I was most blessed by being able to spend time with her these last six months living in New Varshan. She and I talked for hours on many occasions about the holy name and the joys of chanting. These were ecstatic sessions and ones I will never forget.
She had become grateful for the personal traumas in her life as through them she had taken complete shelter of the holy name and this was a fixed and constant source of strength to her. The opulence of Queen Kunti, gratitude for Krisna's presence in her life, was certainly hers. From this her love for anyone she came into contact with shone through, and her caring was always so practical, detailed and appropriate - genuine and personal.

She took me to the airport as I came to the UK just before she left for India - we left early - on the way the car broke down and I remember looking at her and our other dear friend who was with us - Krishan PREma Vati - and saying - we have this time for a reason - we may never see each other again.

Vrndavana said - I really hope we do but you never know - especially in India.  I said we have to use this time well - so we talked at great length about some particular issues on the farm we were all concerned with. I wish I had been more confident and focussed as I was really feeling it was a time to just appreciate each other - time was alway precious to us and we are always chasing such times - how we had it. I remember hugging her to me as she left me at the airport to take KPV to her parents house for some healing. She was always concerned to genuniely do whatever she could to benefit others
 She was excited about coming back from India and organising a Festival next January in New Zealand with Indradyumna Maharaja her spiritual master,a nd some preaching - we were planning things

On many occasions we talked  about relationships and how to encourage and help devotees in difficulty -the focus was always on the spiritual aspects - again and again we would be talking of the holy name and the power of japa and kirtan to practically change our lives, our consciousness and our world. She inspired me deeply due to her real happiness in talking about Krishna and her genuine love of chanting japa - it was real and as natural as talking about the next feast. In fact all these words were a feast for her!

I did one thing I am so glad of. At RAdhastami last year, Vrndavan gave class. She never gives class - but I insisted she do it, and encouraged her through those days before with rehearsals, and again these are memories to treasure - how she spoke of SRimati RAdharani to me, like a special class on my own in her house - and she of course gave a beautiful class which I am sorrythat we didnt record. Anway. She was very happy to have done it. I will also remember her running from the alter to PRabhupada at the other end of the temple room and back, smiling and singing, in the New Varshan temple in the presence of Sri Sri Radha Giridhari, lovingly putting her arms around HAri Priya and dancing with her, and others - she alwasy found someone to link with, hold the arm of and bring into the midst of the kirtan. I will remember the times in the kitchen with her up to her arms in cream, organisisng us all to create one of her delicious feasts, her smile,a nd her tangible love - that glow. I do regret not spending more time learning and enjoying that mood

I will always remember her sitting chanting her japa with deep deep songful attention next to Tulasi. I willnow  never doubt that Krishna is in control and reciprocates with us according to our mood, our taste, our love for Him. She left her body with her dearmost siksha guru and friend, Tamal Krishna  GOswami, near to where Haridas thakur chanted 300.000 names of the Lord each day. I used to call her - jokingly but with very serious intent - our acarya of the Holy name - it was her birthday gift to follow him wherever he went that day and for that she is certaingly now serving him and the LOrd without limit. I pray to travel with conviction back to GOdhead and disregard the difficutlies of the journey - to embrace the setbacks and collisions, and to know that Krishna is always with me and He was with her - Her hand set in japa mudra as He danced on her tongue as she left us all

Vrndavenesvari - bless me - andeveryone who loves you - I am the most unqualified to speak but wanted to somehow be with you all today Vrnavanesvari prabhu ki jai!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ITs a very special community, with a wonderful gurukule, and a new temple nearing completion. I am very grateful to have the association of such devotees. The womens group is a source of strength and devotion, and I pray it will continue in the physical absence of Vrndavan, and my being here in UK I am sure she would want this.
 
 

 Dear Vrndavanaesvari,
 I have spent time in prayerful solitude talking to you and thinking about you.  Initially the day I heard about the accident I was somewhat shattered in the human realm because there was no time for farewells.  It was very fast and sudden stuff, shattering the ever continuous bubbling along of human life, the uncomfortable comfort zone, the illusion of feeling all will keep going as it is, some kind of eternality here was blatantly shattered to a zillion pieces.  Oh no!  that's right there are other things going on besides human daily plans, bigger things barely comprehensible to my mind. I see your face and your ever-changing expressions.  Your personality is unique and dynamic, one you, uniquely you!  Your voice, your smile, your gestures, your speech, your words, your thoughtsI. The lotIyou have been directed onwards.  The only wonderful thing in this whole turmoil was that your final farewell festival was fit for a saint.  So many devotees chanting and trying to do things just right all in the holy dharma of Lord Caitanya, you couldn't pick a better personality than he, Lord Caitanya and Lord Nityananda.  That in itself is a celebration of festivity even though in the human realm, it's so tough, so blatantly tough for others.

I have known you for about 16 years and I thank you as I did in prayer for initially spending time with me as I continuously asked many questions and challenged the philosophy.  You never gave up on me for one moment because you had faith that Krsna would make everything right and you have always had great passion for Krsna.  You gave me the impression that you didn't really expect too many wonderful things from the material world and that under all conditions one should always and I mean always continue with ones Krsna consciousness and spiritual life.  As a mother and well wisher, I wish you all the utmost best of spiritual travels and ultimate welfare, I pray you are looked after every step of the way and all love and guidance is at your command.  Best of journey to you, best of spiritual love to you Vrndavanaesvari, May Lord Caitanya and Lord Nityananda bless you and keep you close always, my love to you,

  Your aspiring servants Titiksa, Govinda Caran and family.

I'd like to pay obeisances to her lotus feet for having the immense joy of having her personal association where every word was a drop of nectar.

I will always hold a small part of her in my heart and wish her godspeed on her journey with TKG Maharaj back to Srila Prabhupada.

ys Tonia
 
 

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